Sunday, September 26, 2010

A Mother's Love

All I have ever wanted to do, really truly, ever wanted to do is be the best mother I could be.  Of course when I was at school had you asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up I would have answered, an actress or maybe a writer.  But since marrying and becoming a mother, I have simply wanted to be a great one.  I failed many times, like the screaming fits I had over messy rooms, undone homework, dishes not done, curfews not kept, etc., etc., etc.  I did well sometimes, no bad boyfriends, no drug surprises, no unplanned pregnancies, oh the list goes on. But you get my drift, don't you.  I wasn't perfect, but I loved them all 3 of my daughters with everything in me I loved them always.  Love them always. I am proud of them, even when they do things, I wouldn't necessarily do, like get a tattoo on their foot during their trip through Europe. You know who you are!!!!!  Or take an extra long stroll through the red light district of Amsterdam, all the while snapping shots of the condoms shaped like Big Ben, and the sign posted, advertising the joint rolling competition at the hostel they were staying in.  We live in a pretty conservative country town and this was such a novelty for them.  When number one traded in her perfectly adequate car for a sports job, are you getting the drift?  But that's it isn't it, they don't have to be perfect and neither do I.  The bond is there no matter what, the love really is unconditional.  And my measure of success is, well look at this photo.  Alicia my first daughter, with Elle her first daughter.  A few minutes later they were both in the land of nod, oh it's sweet.  Really to see your children become parents is the greatest thing of all.  To see my daughter be a mother is amazing, and she is a great mother.  Patient, kind, loving, doting, committed and just a little bit selfish, you have to be, really you do.  It is no good losing who you are, denying yourself everything and then later resenting that.  She is amazing.  We see the pain leaving now, after losing Lucas last year we hoped we would, and now we see it,  Paul and Alicia healing, with the help of Elle.

Be still my beating heart......................

I have these beautiful Iris's in my front garden, right near the fish pond and the front door at the moment.  They just appeared out of the green leaves, dozens of them.  Like magic they come, they last a little while and then they go.

Then yesterday another colour appeared, like magic, they just appeared, I love Spring, really I do.

So open wide come inside, take a trip into the weird and wonderful world of macro shots, little hairs on the tongue of this Iris, a little mouth waiting to gobble you up.

The colours, the patterns, the textures, honestly, Spring ahh!!!


  1. Ahh...what a beautiful post..I had tears of course..Me too..all I ever wanted and want is to be a good mother:)and a good nana. And yes seeing your daughters be good mothers is heartwarming..It is such a great feeling .We are lucky.
    Your photos are darling:)

    The iris are lovely indeed but in this post..The people are my heartbeats:)
    I love this year for you.

  2. oh be still my heart - mommies and babies. so very precious.

    your irises are gorgeous though - the bearded ones are my favorites. especially in the purples and blues.

  3. Monique thank you if i can be the best nanny i will be the happiest
    Char this is just the most special time for us and oh yes Spring ahh I love it

  4. What a wonderful post. I couldn't agree with you more! So happy for all of you.

  5. what a precious post. your words and photos warm my heart.

  6. 2 of your gorgeous girls. beautiful photos and lots of lovely words. xo


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