The Painted Lady

Well ta daaa!!!!! here it is my one and only tattoo.  I know some of you are thinking what the heck has happened to her, why on earth has she done this and for some it may even be totally contrary to your religious beliefs.  It was to mine until recently.  Why is the question I guess, what is the point of a tattoo that on a normal day in a normal position I can't even see.  Yep I ask myself those questions too.  Well I guess the answer is I wanted it.  I really did, I just wanted to get it and for all, well most of my nearly 50 years I have been very responsible and sensible and I haven't done anything that slides against the norm.  But after Lucas passed away, I just lost everything I believed in, everything I thought was just so and I have had to and still am reassess what I actually believe in and what I really think about faith and life etc etc.  I don't want to make it sound like this was some great deep spiritual decision you know some awakening to a new me, it wasn't really.  I just want to take Lucas, who by the way is the little blue bird with the halo, and Elle, the little pink bird with me everywhere for ever.  My idea is that as the girls have their babies I will add little birds in the right colours to the branches.  I can see 4 little spaces already so if there are more than that and I hope there are, I will have some hovering or add another branch or two.  

It was really interesting for me to even go to the tattoo shop, parlour I think they call them.  I felt so weird climbing the really long, steep, staircase that disappeared into a room I had never even known was there before.  This is not a huge town I live in and I hadn't even noticed this place before.  It is just what we look for isn't it, where we normally hang out, what we watch that's, what we see.  Not the other things, places, people.  I felt strange like maybe I didn't belong there, I dress pretty conservatively, I am nearly 50 and here I am heading up the staircase to who knows where to find who knows what.  The first woman I saw was at least my age maybe older sitting behind the counter not a tat in sight.  We chatted about what I wanted and she explained how things work there.  Then I saw a lady a lot like me who was arranging her tattoo, describing the size etc., to the woman who would do it for her.  So I wasn't the only unlikely looking person there after all.  The lady who did my tattoo is about 35, has 3 or 4 ear rings, spacers etc on each lobe.  Her head is shaved in a mohawk, yep I didn't even know they still wore them and the side of her head is tattooed in a big dragon.  She has dozens of other tattoos all over her.  I was a little freaked out.  She looked really butch and tough and I thought what the heck am I doing here.  She designed the tree from what I described to her.  It's a bit bigger than I wanted, actually a lot bigger, but I do love it.  It took about 2 hours to do and yes it hurt like crazy.  I actually had sweat running down my body, I thought I was going to throw up and it was really hard not to jump, but I didn't want it ruined so I clenched everything and sat through it.  I am quite glad right now that the twins aren't even dating so no chance of a baby soon and Alicia isn't planning one too soon either, that way I get to forget the excruciating pain before I go back to add birds ha ha!

Would I do it again, yeah probably.  Let's face it no one sees it but me and Adrian.  He likes it so that's good.  It's for me not for anyone else and I really don't care what people think about it.  I wanted to do it and I want to always have my beautiful Lucas with me and all the rest of my wonderful grandchildren too.  I feel a little like the secret painted lady, it's kind of exciting having this little well not so little secret up my sleeve, or under my shirt.  So tell me do you like it?