Tuesday, April 13, 2010

Time Out

A Delicious Indulgence, how decadent does that sound?  Truly it just makes me want to have one right now, so I am.  Adrian gave me a gift certificate for Christmas, yep that long ago and today I am going to have my Delicious Indulgence.  90minutes of pampering, an Ella Bache classic facial, and hand, foot and scalp massage.  So stop drooling please.  I am doing enough of that for all of us.  I love to be pampered and massaged and primped and preened, but other than the ritual hair cutting and colouring I am usually quite hesitant to spend money on myself for that sort of thing.  I will go to the physio, or the doctor or a theraputic massager, but not a beautician.  So I will enjoy this time out today. 

On an entirely different note, let's ponder seasons.  Seasons of change, I have thought for a very long time now that most of my life, as I look back at it has been lived in seasons.  Especially the last 30 years or so.  I can draw an imaginary line around certain times over that period and quite literally define a season. 

More recently, since the passing of our baby grandson Lucas, the season has been really noticable.  Before Lucas, I would have said we were in a Spring time.  Everything was fresh, so many new things happening.  Adrian and I were beginning to enjoy the empty nest time in our lives.  We were beginning new things together, travelling, cooking together, discovering new places and new interests together.  Anticipating the time when we would be grandparents for the first time.

Then after the tragedy of losing Lucas, winter.  A bleak, long, hard, dark and cold winter.  Never before have we experienced such sadness.  It was like drowning for us.  Sinking deeper and deeper into the nothingness that was there, lurking just under the surface of life.  During that season many things changed.  Some friends slipped away and new ones were made.  Thoughts and beliefs we had held fast too for many years, were shaken.  New thoughts emerged.  New belief patterns took hold.  A bitterness and hardness settled in our hearts.  Winter was not a good season for us.  I had to look long and hard at myself.  Was this the way I wanted the rest of my life to be.  So closed down, shut in.  No I would almost scream it out no!!!!  I had to take some measures I would never have even contemplated before.  Doctors visits, medication and a new approach to life in general.  Some of my choices were not good, some were better.  But finally even as the seasons change here in the natural, a season is changing in our spirits too.

Once again we are entering a new season, a new time in our lives.  I'm not sure yet if it will be the hot, raging, fun, days of summer.  Or the gentler, calmer, fresh days of Spring, but it is a shift from winter and for that I am glad.  So much has changed.  It makes me laugh at how different my approach to life is now.  I have always been someone who likes to have all their ducks in a row as the saying goes.  Now I have scattered the ducks throughout the place and I am enjoying the freedom of that.  My pantry used to stand like a regiment of soldiers, all things in neat and tidy almost alphabetical rows.  My pantry now in our new home, is smaller and as such is a mess.  I have to dig through the spices, herbs, flours and sugars just find the one pinch of something I need.  Before I would have been so stressed.  Now, well right now I couldn't care less.  Yes it irritates me a little when I open the door and I can't immediately see the cinnamon, but hey it's in there somewhere and I will find it eventually.

So right now I am just going with the flow of this season.  Letting the changes happen, walking through them to the other side.  I am living life as best I can.  Thank  you for walking with me.  Are you experincing a change in your seasons too?


  1. Beautifully written. Sending you a big HUG. So nice that you got some pampering...I could use some right about now.

  2. What a nice post..You're so right about sorrow..and I am so happy that this season is melting gently into a new season for you.
    You made it..
    And look where you are:) The photos are pretty too..
    Enjoy the new home.. the pampering..the small pantry and the anticipation.
    It's your turn to bask in some more sunshine.


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